Yo dont text me then not text me
Me. At least after what I've been through.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
