So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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