also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize