U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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