can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
my shit smells like andre
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
