Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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