why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
