So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
please come you make the beer taste better
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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