Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
