I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
