He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
