Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
