Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
