my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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