I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
