Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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