Will you blow on my dice?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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