Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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