so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
