ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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