Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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