What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
