chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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