After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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