after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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