mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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