we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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