I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
