Welp...herpes.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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