Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
