idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
