I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
