So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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