It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
