You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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