In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
