just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
