oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
