quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
