how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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