Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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