thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize