You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
