Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
So apparently I’m into choking now
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
