i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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