yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
50% drunk capacity currently
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
