i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
