Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
there is puke in my bra ... again
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
