I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
