I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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