"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
