remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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