i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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