i think i have two assholes
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
