Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
