And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
