I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
