Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
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