So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
