Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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