i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
